Hey there,
As with most of these posts, it is more for me and than for anyone - so don't judge too hard haha. If you are reading I hope it will positively influence your life in some way :)
How Can I Be Happy?
Due to recent changes in my life, I've been wondering, "what can I DO to be happy?" I’m aware that happiness is a personal choice and responsibility, but have wondered what I change to increase my happiness.
That is when the haunting began.
Haha I use the word haunting lightly, but here is what happened.
The quote, "The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives." by President Russell M. Nelson began to pop up
EVERYWHERE.
I'm talking everyday conversations, Instagram, General Conference talks I read, text messages... everywhere!
I guess it’s not that unusual of a thing if Heavenly Father is trying to get a point across... but this was a whole new level for me.
The worst part about all of it was… I didn't really get the quote.
When I heard it again and again, I would become frustrated and even a little bit resentful.
"The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives."
I would think, "yeah but the reason I am unhappy IS because of my situation and environment. My circumstances!"
Even though President Nelson plainly stated, “We can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives” it just did not make sense to me.
One of the reasons I was having such a hard time with this quote is we’ve been struggling with infertility for almost a year. If you know what this is like, you know. If you’ve never experienced it, it’s rough. Like waiting for a job, marriage, money, or success - it hit home that what was NOT HAPPENING in my life was causing the unhappiness I was feeling. On top of that, I felt my life situation was not ideal and was struggling to adjust to my new environment.
But this quote was not going away any time soon, so I decided to try and figure it out.
I started listening to the talk, "Joy and Spiritual Survival" by President Nelson
every.
single.
day.
to try and figure out what it meant.
At first, I didn't get much. But as I kept listening to the talk again and again... I realized a few things.
JOY COMES FROM THE SAVIOR
"Joy comes from and because of Him. He is the source of all joy." It is our focus ON JESUS that helps us to feel happy regardless of our life circumstances. But sometimes just thinking of Him doesn’t take away the hard feelings I am going through… so I kept digging.
As I listened to the talk more and tried to focus on Him, I realized a few things are bound to happen when we truly focus on Christ. Things that truly make us happy.
1. We start to think like Him. We see others. We try to help them with their needs. We see things with an eternal perspective and how the challenges now are blessings to refine us and prepare us for eternal life. Turning outwards helps gives us a perspective we cannot receive otherwise.
2. We start to live like Him. We do things we would otherwise not do when we are focused on Him. Instead of watching TV for 2 hours straight, we read a book, reach out to someone else, call our family members, read a conference talk, or do things to strengthen our talents and testimony.
3. We have the Holy Ghost with us. In 3 Nephi it says, "if ye will always remember me ye may have my Spirit to be with thee." The Spirit is the ULTIMATE motivator, clarity provider, gratitude instilling force in our lives. When I REALLY take advantage of this gift in my life, I can approach my life in a way and act so that I really am HAPPY. I do things, not just spiritual, that overall enrich my life and help me to feel the joy He provides.
HAPPINESS IS RIGHT NOW
I kept feeling and thinking, "I will be happy when I get pregnant" or "I will be happy when I finish school/get a job." However, one morning I had the realization that I needed to stop waiting for my life to begin.
I could be happy NOW. In my journal I wrote, "Today is the day I stop waiting for my life to begin." You cannot wait for things to happen in our lives to decide to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and the center of that choice is choosing to Focus on Christ.
Like another quote from President Nelson, "Counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems."
It's how you embrace life and look at your situation that matters. You reap what you sow and you see what you look for. You decide.
I think the other moral of the story I learned is that life is what you make it.
Just because my life is not what I thought it would be, does not mean I need to stop living it and enjoying it. This is the only life we get, at some point we need to say, “great, I’ll take it and make the best of it.”
REGARDLESS
One particularly heart-wrenching night, I cried and pounded my fists asking, “Why isn’t life working out?” I realized that the lack of events going the way I had hoped was negatively influencing my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His love for me.
I thought to myself, “Maybe He wants to me to learn to trust Him even when nothing turns out the way I want.”
"Would he cease to be God just cause my life sucked? No."
"Would I stop having faith in Him because he didn’t give me what I wanted? No."
I learned I needed to have faith in Him REGARDLESS. Period.
This kind of trust allows us to deepen our relationship with Christ and feel of His presence in our everyday lives.
“Our true happiness depends upon our relationship with God, with Jesus Christ, and with each other." – Pres. Ballard
I think I can testify that “In His presence is the fullness of joy.”- Nelson
A joy He is waiting for us to receive in our lives. Especially this time of year, regardless of your life situation.
If you don't believe it, keep trying till you do. Promise it comes.
I now know, that regardless of what is or what is not happening in my life, I will continue to have faith in the Savior, focus on Him, and enjoy the gift of life he has given me right now.
Because truly, it is a blessing.
Lindy
SOME QUOTES THAT I LIKED
"Today is the day I stop waiting for my life to begin."
"Focus on blessings, not problems."
"Did not let her circumstances determine her happiness. She is always happy."
"Enjoy every opportunity and delight in the life you have."
"Never waste one minute of this precious life worrying."
"Make my life wonderful regardless of any situation or difficulty I faced."
"Look for the best in every situation."
Loved this, and definitely needed this reminder. Thanks for sharing!
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