Me, LGBTQ+, and BYU

Hey there. 

It's been a while since I've shared long thoughts on here, but after a week I felt the need to be vocal. I want to share my feelings on Elder Holland's speech to BYU faculty last week entitled, "Second Half of the Second Century" and add my two cents. 

I hope to clarify different points from his talk, add to the pool of shared meaning, and share my testimony and beliefs. 

Here is the address if you wish to read straight from the source: https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/elder-jeffrey-r-holland-2021-byu-university-conference

What did he say? 

First off, what did he say that stirred up the pot? a couple of things to remember are: 

1) this was an address to a private university (BYU) 

2) this was an address to BYU faculty (not the public, not students, NOT the church) 

3) this was an address given by an Apostle of Jesus Christ 

4) this was an address supported and approved by the members of the Quorum of the 12 apostles 

I think every single one of those points is important to understanding what Elder Holland did and did not say. I don't think I need to go through all the logistics of BYU, but here are a few things to remember. 

1) it is a private university founded, supported, and ran by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

 2) Its establishment, programs, funding, colleges, etc. are all thanks to the funds of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and many, many generous donors 

Elder Holland's remarks were specifically for this audience whose purpose, funding, organization, and success depend upon its alignment with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

"Surely our integrity demands that our lives be absolutely consistent with and characteristic of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. At a university there will always be healthy debate regarding a whole syllabus full of issues. But until “we all come [to] the unity of the faith, and . . . [have grown to] the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ,”[7] our next best achievement will be to stay in harmony with the Lord’s anointed, those whom He has designated to declare Church doctrine and to guide Brigham Young University as its trustees."

The Pool of Shared Meaning 

So how come when Elder Holland asked for BYU Faculty and Staff to support the doctrine of the family and marriage between a man and a woman did things get suddenly very uncomfortable, personal, and polarized??

The same reason I am writing this today. LGBTQ+ prevalence and the doctrine of the family as understood in the Church of Jesus Christ are two areas at odds with one another, like oil and water. 

That is why the world, members of the church, BYU Faculty, and everyone in between have a hard time understanding how to make sense of two very different and very important issues. To that very issue that Elder Holland said this: 

“We hope it isn’t a surprise to you that your Trustees are not deaf or blind to the feelings that swirl around marriage and the whole same-sex topic on campus. I and many of my Brethren have spent more time and shed more tears on this subject than we could ever adequately convey to you this morning, or any morning. We have spent hours discussing what the doctrine of the Church can and cannot provide the individuals and families struggling over this difficult issue. So, it is with scar tissue of our own that we are trying to avoid — and hope all will try to avoid — language, symbols, and situations that are more divisive than unifying at the very time we want to show love for all of God’s children.”

In that spirit, let me go no farther before declaring unequivocally my love and that of my Brethren for those who live with this same-sex challenge and so much complexity that goes with it.”

Once while listening to a panel of BYU, LGBTQ+ students I heard one say in response to my question, “You are having a hard time with the gray area, this is where we live. To try to understand is to step into the unclear.” 

And to that, I would say their words are exactly right. It is complex. I can't understand and empathize perfectly with those who struggle with LGBTQ+ related concerns and this post will not sum up all of my feelings and opinions. It is complex. 

Elder Holland continues, 

“But it will assist everyone in providing such help if things can be kept in some proportion and balance in the process. For example, we have to be careful that love and empathy do not get interpreted as condoning and advocacy, or that orthodoxy and loyalty to principle not be interpreted as unkindness or disloyalty to people. As near as I can tell, Christ never once withheld His love from anyone, but He also never once said to anyone, “Because I love you, you are exempt from keeping my commandments.” We are tasked with trying to strike that same sensitive, demanding balance in our lives.” 

So this is where I want to add to the pool of shared meaning. What we already know and are trying to understand. 

Truth: We need to love. In my time in Israel, I learned that the most important thing to Jesus Christ did was love us. And because of that, he wants US to love. It is one of the most important things we can do. The Pharisees in ancient times were condemned not because of their disobedience to the laws of God, but because of their condoning of others in their need to live God’s law better than those around them. The more I have come to discover the answers to LGBTQ+ and the Church of Jesus Christ, the more I have realized this issue is also for us as members to learn to love those who are not keeping the commandments. I am personally working on being more loving, kind, respectful, and welcoming to those who are LGBTQ+ and know that I have room to grow. 

Truth: The family is of God. I studied Human Development: Family Studies during my undergraduate degree at BYU and learned and have a testimony that “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is a true powerful testimony of the eternal nature of gender, marriage between a man and a woman, and eternal laws. I believe it and stand by the inspired men who wrote it and believe the truths expressed there will not change. 

So now what? If both those things are true, I, like many of you, find myself “tasked with trying to strike that same sensitive, demanding balance” to love, yet not endorse. Can it be done? 

Yes. The Pharisees got in trouble for judging the sins of others and condemning them. We can judge based on church doctrine, revelation from prophets and apostles (as seen with Elder Holland’s talk), and personal revelation. That is just fine and something we need to do.

 But we cannot condemn. God oversees that. I do not wish it upon any member of the church, LGBTQ+ or otherwise to feel rejected, condemned, or unwelcome. Period. 

The real question is, what do we do about it? 

My Beliefs  

I’m not sure. I’m not sure what you will do, where you are at, what people are in your sphere, and what challenges concerning this issue you are going through. It is sensitive, complex, confusing, and there may not be any perfect answers for it. But here is what I am going to do. 

I am going to stand for truth. 

I believe and know Elder Holland and the members of the 12 apostles who stand with him to be called of GOD with the authority to preach and clarify doctrine for us TODAY. 

I know that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. 

I know that gender is eternal. 

BYU is an institution that I LOVE. Is it perfect, no! But is it an inspired place where THOUSANDS of members of the Church of Jesus Christ can learn of Him, develop their talents, be edified, create life-long friendships, and go forth to serve the world, YES! 

I owe much of my life, my success, my best friends, my relationships with my family, and my testimony to my time at BYU thanks to the gospel of Jesus Christ that is taught and lived there. I will always be true to that school.  

I owe my ENTIRE life to my Savior, Jesus Christ, and all that he has done for me yesterday, today, and forever. 

This conversation concerning the Church of Jesus Christ and LGBTQ+ is not going away but neither is my voice in speaking out for what I believe and know to be true. I’m all for loving and not condemning. But I’m also all for standing behind the prophet and apostles I know to be true and the Church of Jesus Christ I know to be His. 

As Elder Holland stated, “There are better ways to move toward crucially important goals in these very difficult matters — ways that show empathy and understanding for everyone while maintaining loyalty to prophetic leadership and devotion to revealed doctrine.”

I think empathy and understanding from BOTH sides of any issue are needed to see things clearly. Love and accept, but don’t turn away from what you know to be true. 

Truth does not and cannot change or else it ceases to be truth. 

And I believe that to be true. 

Lindy Clegg Halterman